Ch. 16: Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“I lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I thought of the

occurrences of the day. What chiefly struck me was the gentle manners

of these people, and I longed to join them, but dared not. I

remembered too well the treatment I had suffered the night before from

the barbarous villagers, and resolved, whatever course of conduct I

might hereafter think it right to pursue, that for the present I would

remain quietly in my hovel, watching and endeavouring to discover the

motives which influenced their actions.

“The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun. The young woman

arranged the cottage and prepared the food, and the youth departed

after the first meal.

“This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it.

The young man was constantly employed out of doors, and the girl in

various laborious occupations within. The old man, whom I soon

perceived to be blind, employed his leisure hours on his instrument or

in contemplation. Nothing could exceed the love and respect which the

younger cottagers exhibited towards their venerable companion. They

performed towards him every little office of affection and duty with

gentleness, and he rewarded them by his benevolent smiles.

“They were not entirely happy. The young man and his companion often

went apart and appeared to weep. I saw no cause for their unhappiness,

but I was deeply affected by it. If such lovely creatures were

miserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being,

should be wretched. Yet why were these gentle beings unhappy? They

possessed a delightful house (for such it was in my eyes) and every

luxury; they had a fire to warm them when chill and delicious viands

when hungry; they were dressed in excellent clothes; and, still more,

they enjoyed one another’s company and speech, interchanging each day

looks of affection and kindness. What did their tears imply? Did they

really express pain? I was at first unable to solve these questions,

but perpetual attention and time explained to me many appearances which

were at first enigmatic.

“A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes of

the uneasiness of this amiable family: it was poverty, and they

suffered that evil in a very distressing degree. Their nourishment

consisted entirely of the vegetables of their garden and the milk of

one cow, which gave very little during the winter, when its masters

could scarcely procure food to support it. They often, I believe,

suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly, especially the two

younger cottagers, for several times they placed food before the old

man when they reserved none for themselves.

“This trait of kindness moved me sensibly. I had been accustomed,

during the night, to steal a part of their store for my own

consumption, but when I found that in doing this I inflicted pain on

the cottagers, I abstained and satisfied myself with berries, nuts, and

roots which I gathered from a neighbouring wood.

“I discovered also another means through which I was enabled to assist

their labours. I found that the youth spent a great part of each day

in collecting wood for the family fire, and during the night I often

took his tools, the use of which I quickly discovered, and brought home

firing sufficient for the consumption of several days.

“I remember, the first time that I did this, the young woman, when she

opened the door in the morning, appeared greatly astonished on seeing a great

pile of wood on the outside. She uttered some words in a loud voice, and the

youth joined her, who also expressed surprise. I observed, with pleasure,

that he did not go to the forest that day, but spent it in repairing the

cottage and cultivating the garden.

“By degrees I made a discovery of still greater moment. I found that

these people possessed a method of communicating their experience and

feelings to one another by articulate sounds. I perceived that the words

they spoke sometimes produced pleasure or pain, smiles or sadness, in the

minds and countenances of the hearers. This was indeed a godlike science,

and I ardently desired to become acquainted with it. But I was baffled in

every attempt I made for this purpose. Their pronunciation was quick, and

the words they uttered, not having any apparent connection with visible

objects, I was unable to discover any clue by which I could unravel the

mystery of their reference. By great application, however, and after having

remained during the space of several revolutions of the moon in my hovel, I

discovered the names that were given to some of the most familiar objects of

discourse; I learned and applied the words, fire, milk, bread, and

wood. I learned also the names of the cottagers themselves. The youth

and his companion had each of them several names, but the old man had only

one, which was father. The girl was called sister or

Agatha, and the youth Felix, brother, or _son_. I cannot

describe the delight I felt when I learned the ideas appropriated to each of

these sounds and was able to pronounce them. I distinguished several other

words without being able as yet to understand or apply them, such as _good,

dearest, unhappy. _

“I spent the winter in this manner. The gentle manners and beauty of

the cottagers greatly endeared them to me; when they were unhappy, I

felt depressed; when they rejoiced, I sympathised in their joys. I saw

few human beings besides them, and if any other happened to enter the

cottage, their harsh manners and rude gait only enhanced to me the

superior accomplishments of my friends. The old man, I could perceive,

often endeavoured to encourage his children, as sometimes I found that

he called them, to cast off their melancholy. He would talk in a

cheerful accent, with an expression of goodness that bestowed pleasure

even upon me. Agatha listened with respect, her eyes sometimes filled

with tears, which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived; but I

generally found that her countenance and tone were more cheerful after

having listened to the exhortations of her father. It was not thus

with Felix. He was always the saddest of the group, and even to my

unpractised senses, he appeared to have suffered more deeply than his

friends. But if his countenance was more sorrowful, his voice was more

cheerful than that of his sister, especially when he addressed the old

man.

“I could mention innumerable instances which, although slight, marked

the dispositions of these amiable cottagers. In the midst of poverty

and want, Felix carried with pleasure to his sister the first little

white flower that peeped out from beneath the snowy ground. Early in

the morning, before she had risen, he cleared away the snow that

obstructed her path to the milk-house, drew water from the well, and

brought the wood from the outhouse, where, to his perpetual

astonishment, he found his store always replenished by an invisible

hand. In the day, I believe, he worked sometimes for a neighbouring

farmer, because he often went forth and did not return until dinner,

yet brought no wood with him. At other times he worked in the garden,

but as there was little to do in the frosty season, he read to the old

man and Agatha.

“This reading had puzzled me extremely at first, but by degrees I

discovered that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read as when

he talked. I conjectured, therefore, that he found on the paper signs

for speech which he understood, and I ardently longed to comprehend

these also; but how was that possible when I did not even understand

the sounds for which they stood as signs? I improved, however,

sensibly in this science, but not sufficiently to follow up any kind of

conversation, although I applied my whole mind to the endeavour, for I

easily perceived that, although I eagerly longed to discover myself to

the cottagers, I ought not to make the attempt until I had first become

master of their language, which knowledge might enable me to make them

overlook the deformity of my figure, for with this also the contrast

perpetually presented to my eyes had made me acquainted.

“I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers—their grace, beauty,

and delicate complexions; but how was I terrified when I viewed myself

in a transparent pool! At first I started back, unable to believe that

it was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror; and when I became

fully convinced that I was in reality the monster that I am, I was

filled with the bitterest sensations of despondence and mortification.

Alas! I did not yet entirely know the fatal effects of this miserable

deformity.

“As the sun became warmer and the light of day longer, the snow

vanished, and I beheld the bare trees and the black earth. From this

time Felix was more employed, and the heart-moving indications of

impending famine disappeared. Their food, as I afterwards found, was

coarse, but it was wholesome; and they procured a sufficiency of it.

Several new kinds of plants sprang up in the garden, which they

dressed; and these signs of comfort increased daily as the season

advanced.

“The old man, leaning on his son, walked each day at noon, when it did

not rain, as I found it was called when the heavens poured forth its

waters. This frequently took place, but a high wind quickly dried the

earth, and the season became far more pleasant than it had been.

“My mode of life in my hovel was uniform. During the morning I

attended the motions of the cottagers, and when they were dispersed in

various occupations, I slept; the remainder of the day was spent in

observing my friends. When they had retired to rest, if there was any

moon or the night was star-light, I went into the woods and collected

my own food and fuel for the cottage. When I returned, as often as it

was necessary, I cleared their path from the snow and performed those

offices that I had seen done by Felix. I afterwards found that these

labours, performed by an invisible hand, greatly astonished them; and

once or twice I heard them, on these occasions, utter the words _good

spirit, wonderful_; but I did not then understand the signification

of these terms.

“My thoughts now became more active, and I longed to discover the

motives and feelings of these lovely creatures; I was inquisitive to

know why Felix appeared so miserable and Agatha so sad. I thought

(foolish wretch!) that it might be in my power to restore happiness to

these deserving people. When I slept or was absent, the forms of the

venerable blind father, the gentle Agatha, and the excellent Felix

flitted before me. I looked upon them as superior beings who would be

the arbiters of my future destiny. I formed in my imagination a

thousand pictures of presenting myself to them, and their reception of

me. I imagined that they would be disgusted, until, by my gentle

demeanour and conciliating words, I should first win their favour and

afterwards their love.

“These thoughts exhilarated me and led me to apply with fresh ardour to

the acquiring the art of language. My organs were indeed harsh, but

supple; and although my voice was very unlike the soft music of their

tones, yet I pronounced such words as I understood with tolerable ease.

It was as the ass and the lap-dog; yet surely the gentle ass whose

intentions were affectionate, although his manners were rude, deserved

better treatment than blows and execration.

“The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered the

aspect of the earth. Men who before this change seemed to have been

hid in caves dispersed themselves and were employed in various arts of

cultivation. The birds sang in more cheerful notes, and the leaves

began to bud forth on the trees. Happy, happy earth! Fit habitation

for gods, which, so short a time before, was bleak, damp, and

unwholesome. My spirits were elevated by the enchanting appearance of

nature; the past was blotted from my memory, the present was tranquil,

and the future gilded by bright rays of hope and anticipations of joy.”