Ch. 71: Chapter II. The Injured Foot
**Chapter II.
The Injured Foot**
The first of these things was at the house of Madame Hohlakov, and he hurried there to get it over as quickly as possible and not be too late for Mitya. Madame Hohlakov had been slightly ailing for the last three weeks: her foot had for some reason swollen up, and though she was not in bed, she lay all day half-reclining on the couch in her boudoir, in a fascinating but decorous _dĂ©shabillĂ©_. Alyosha had once noted with innocent amusement that, in spite of her illness, Madame Hohlakov had begun to be rather dressyâtop-knots, ribbons, loose wrappers, had made their appearance, and he had an inkling of the reason, though he dismissed such ideas from his mind as frivolous. During the last two months the young official, Perhotin, had become a regular visitor at the house.
Alyosha had not called for four days and he was in haste to go straight to Lise, as it was with her he had to speak, for Lise had sent a maid to him the previous day, specially asking him to come to her âabout something very important,â a request which, for certain reasons, had interest for Alyosha. But while the maid went to take his name in to Lise, Madame Hohlakov heard of his arrival from some one, and immediately sent to beg him to come to her âjust for one minute.â Alyosha reflected that it was better to accede to the mammaâs request, or else she would be sending down to Liseâs room every minute that he was there. Madame Hohlakov was lying on a couch. She was particularly smartly dressed and was evidently in a state of extreme nervous excitement. She greeted Alyosha with cries of rapture.
âItâs ages, ages, perfect ages since Iâve seen you! Itâs a whole weekâonly think of it! Ah, but you were here only four days ago, on Wednesday. You have come to see Lise. Iâm sure you meant to slip into her room on tiptoe, without my hearing you. My dear, dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, if you only knew how worried I am about her! But of that later, though thatâs the most important thing, of that later. Dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, I trust you implicitly with my Lise. Since the death of Father ZossimaâGod rest his soul!â (she crossed herself)ââI look upon you as a monk, though you look charming in your new suit. Where did you find such a tailor in these parts? No, no, thatâs not the chief thingâof that later. Forgive me for sometimes calling you Alyosha; an old woman like me may take liberties,â she smiled coquettishly; âbut that will do later, too. The important thing is that I shouldnât forget what is important. Please remind me of it yourself. As soon as my tongue runs away with me, you just say âthe important thing?â Ach! How do I know now what is of most importance? Ever since Lise took back her promiseâher childish promise, Alexey Fyodorovitchâto marry you, youâve realized, of course, that it was only the playful fancy of a sick child who had been so long confined to her chairâthank God, she can walk now!⊠That new doctor Katya sent for from Moscow for your unhappy brother, who will to-morrowâBut why speak of to-morrow? I am ready to die at the very thought of to-morrow. Ready to die of curiosity⊠That doctor was with us yesterday and saw Lise⊠I paid him fifty roubles for the visit. But thatâs not the point, thatâs not the point again. You see, Iâm mixing everything up. I am in such a hurry. Why am I in a hurry? I donât understand. Itâs awful how I seem growing unable to understand anything. Everything seems mixed up in a sort of tangle. I am afraid you are so bored you will jump up and run away, and that will be all I shall see of you. Goodness! Why are we sitting here and no coffee? Yulia, Glafira, coffee!â
Alyosha made haste to thank her, and said that he had only just had coffee.
âWhere?â
âAt Agrafena Alexandrovnaâs.â
âAt⊠At that womanâs? Ah, itâs she has brought ruin on every one. I know nothing about it though. They say she has become a saint, though itâs rather late in the day. She had better have done it before. What use is it now? Hush, hush, Alexey Fyodorovitch, for I have so much to say to you that I am afraid I shall tell you nothing. This awful trial⊠I shall certainly go, I am making arrangements. I shall be carried there in my chair; besides I can sit up. I shall have people with me. And, you know, I am a witness. How shall I speak, how shall I speak? I donât know what I shall say. One has to take an oath, hasnât one?â
âYes; but I donât think you will be able to go.â
âI can sit up. Ah, you put me out! Ah! This trial, this savage act, and then they are all going to Siberia, some are getting married, and all this so quickly, so quickly, everythingâs changing, and at lastânothing. All grow old and have death to look forward to. Well, so be it! I am weary. This Katya, _cette charmante personne_, has disappointed all my hopes. Now she is going to follow one of your brothers to Siberia, and your other brother is going to follow her, and will live in the nearest town, and they will all torment one another. It drives me out of my mind. Worst of allâthe publicity. The story has been told a million times over in all the papers in Moscow and Petersburg. Ah! Yes, would you believe it, thereâs a paragraph that I was âa dear friendâ of your brotherâs ââ, I canât repeat the horrid word. Just fancy, just fancy!â
âImpossible! Where was the paragraph? What did it say?â
âIâll show you directly. I got the paper and read it yesterday. Here, in the Petersburg paper _Gossip_. The paper began coming out this year. I am awfully fond of gossip, and I take it in, and now it pays me outâthis is what gossip comes to! Here it is, here, this passage. Read it.â
And she handed Alyosha a sheet of newspaper which had been under her pillow.
It was not exactly that she was upset, she seemed overwhelmed and perhaps everything really was mixed up in a tangle in her head. The paragraph was very typical, and must have been a great shock to her, but, fortunately perhaps, she was unable to keep her mind fixed on any one subject at that moment, and so might race off in a minute to something else and quite forget the newspaper.
Alyosha was well aware that the story of the terrible case had spread all over Russia. And, good heavens! What wild rumors about his brother, about the Karamazovs, and about himself he had read in the course of those two months, among other equally credible items! One paper had even stated that he had gone into a monastery and become a monk, in horror at his brotherâs crime. Another contradicted this, and stated that he and his elder, Father Zossima, had broken into the monastery chest and âmade tracks from the monastery.â The present paragraph in the paper Gossip was under the heading, âThe Karamazov Case at Skotoprigonyevsk.â (That, alas! Was the name of our little town. I had hitherto kept it concealed.) It was brief, and Madame Hohlakov was not directly mentioned in it. No names appeared, in fact. It was merely stated that the criminal, whose approaching trial was making such a sensationâretired army captain, an idle swaggerer, and reactionary bullyâwas continually involved in amorous intrigues, and particularly popular with certain ladies âwho were pining in solitude.â One such lady, a pining widow, who tried to seem young though she had a grown-up daughter, was so fascinated by him that only two hours before the crime she offered him three thousand roubles, on condition that he would elope with her to the gold mines. But the criminal, counting on escaping punishment, had preferred to murder his father to get the three thousand rather than go off to Siberia with the middle-aged charms of his pining lady. This playful paragraph finished, of course, with an outburst of generous indignation at the wickedness of parricide and at the lately abolished institution of serfdom. Reading it with curiosity, Alyosha folded up the paper and handed it back to Madame Hohlakov.
âWell, that must be me,â she hurried on again. âOf course I am meant. Scarcely more than an hour before, I suggested gold mines to him, and here they talk of âmiddle-aged charmsâ as though that were my motive! He writes that out of spite! God Almighty forgive him for the middle-aged charms, as I forgive him! You know itâsâ Do you know who it is? Itâs your friend Rakitin.â
âPerhaps,â said Alyosha, âthough Iâve heard nothing about it.â
âItâs he, itâs he! No âperhapsâ about it. You know I turned him out of the house⊠You know all that story, donât you?â
âI know that you asked him not to visit you for the future, but why it was, I havenât heard⊠From you, at least.â
âAh, then youâve heard it from him! He abuses me, I suppose, abuses me dreadfully?â
âYes, he does; but then he abuses every one. But why youâve given him up I havenât heard from him either. I meet him very seldom now, indeed. We are not friends.â
âWell, then, Iâll tell you all about it. Thereâs no help for it, Iâll confess, for there is one point in which I was perhaps to blame. Only a little, little point, so little that perhaps it doesnât count. You see, my dear boyâ âMadame Hohlakov suddenly looked arch and a charming, though enigmatic, smile played about her lipsââyou see, I suspect⊠You must forgive me, Alyosha. I am like a mother to you⊠No, no; quite the contrary. I speak to you now as though you were my fatherâmotherâs quite out of place. Well, itâs as though I were confessing to Father Zossima, thatâs just it. I called you a monk just now. Well, that poor young man, your friend, Rakitin (Mercy on us! I canât be angry with him. I feel cross, but not very), that frivolous young man, would you believe it, seems to have taken it into his head to fall in love with me. I only noticed it later. At firstâa month agoâhe only began to come oftener to see me, almost every day; though, of course, we were acquainted before. I knew nothing about it⊠And suddenly it dawned upon me, and I began to notice things with surprise. You know, two months ago, that modest, charming, excellent young man, Pyotr Ilyitch Perhotin, whoâs in the service here, began to be a regular visitor at the house. You met him here ever so many times yourself. And he is an excellent, earnest young man, isnât he? He comes once every three days, not every day (though I should be glad to see him every day), and always so well dressed. Altogether, I love young people, Alyosha, talented, modest, like you, and he has almost the mind of a statesman, he talks so charmingly, and I shall certainly, certainly try and get promotion for him. He is a future diplomat. On that awful day he almost saved me from death by coming in the night. And your friend Rakitin comes in such boots, and always stretches them out on the carpet⊠He began hinting at his feelings, in fact, and one day, as he was going, he squeezed my hand terribly hard. My foot began to swell directly after he pressed my hand like that. He had met Pyotr Ilyitch here before, and would you believe it, he is always gibing at him, growling at him, for some reason. I simply looked at the way they went on together and laughed inwardly. So I was sitting here aloneâno, I was laid up then. Well, I was lying here alone and suddenly Rakitin comes in, and only fancy! Brought me some verses of his own compositionâa short poem, on my bad foot: that is, he described my foot in a poem. Wait a minuteâhow did it go?
A captivating little foot.
It began somehow like that. I can never remember poetry. Iâve got it here. Iâll show it to you later. But itâs a charming thingâcharming; and, you know, itâs not only about the foot, it had a good moral, too, a charming idea, only Iâve forgotten it; in fact, it was just the thing for an album. So, of course, I thanked him, and he was evidently flattered. Iâd hardly had time to thank him when in comes Pyotr Ilyitch, and Rakitin suddenly looked as black as night. I could see that Pyotr Ilyitch was in the way, for Rakitin certainly wanted to say something after giving me the verses. I had a presentiment of it; but Pyotr Ilyitch came in. I showed Pyotr Ilyitch the verses and didnât say who was the author. But I am convinced that he guessed, though he wonât own it to this day, and declares he had no idea. But he says that on purpose. Pyotr Ilyitch began to laugh at once, and fell to criticizing it. âWretched doggerel,â he said they were, âsome divinity student must have written them,â and with such vehemence, such vehemence! Then, instead of laughing, your friend flew into a rage. âGood gracious!â I thought, âtheyâll fly at each other.â âIt was I who wrote them,â said he. âI wrote them as a joke,â he said, âfor I think it degrading to write verses⊠But they are good poetry. They want to put a monument to your Pushkin for writing about womenâs feet, while I wrote with a moral purpose, and you,â said he, âare an advocate of serfdom. Youâve no humane ideas,â said he. âYou have no modern enlightened feelings, you are uninfluenced by progress, you are a mere official,â he said, âand you take bribes.â Then I began screaming and imploring them. And, you know, Pyotr Ilyitch is anything but a coward. He at once took up the most gentlemanly tone, looked at him sarcastically, listened, and apologized. âIâd no idea,â said he. âI shouldnât have said it, if I had known. I should have praised it. Poets are all so irritable,â he said. In short, he laughed at him under cover of the most gentlemanly tone. He explained to me afterwards that it was all sarcastic. I thought he was in earnest. Only as I lay there, just as before you now, I thought, âWould it, or would it not, be the proper thing for me to turn Rakitin out for shouting so rudely at a visitor in my house?â And, would you believe it, I lay here, shut my eyes, and wondered, would it be the proper thing or not. I kept worrying and worrying, and my heart began to beat, and I couldnât make up my mind whether to make an outcry or not. One voice seemed to be telling me, âSpeak,â and the other âNo, donât speak.â And no sooner had the second voice said that than I cried out, and fainted. Of course, there was a fuss. I got up suddenly and said to Rakitin, âItâs painful for me to say it, but I donât wish to see you in my house again.â So I turned him out. Ah! Alexey Fyodorovitch, I know myself I did wrong. I was putting it on. I wasnât angry with him at all, really; but I suddenly fanciedâthat was what did itâthat it would be such a fine scene⊠And yet, believe me, it was quite natural, for I really shed tears and cried for several days afterwards, and then suddenly, one afternoon, I forgot all about it. So itâs a fortnight since heâs been here, and I kept wondering whether he would come again. I wondered even yesterday, then suddenly last night came this _Gossip_. I read it and gasped. Who could have written it? He must have written it. He went home, sat down, wrote it on the spot, sent it, and they put it in. It was a fortnight ago, you see. But, Alyosha, itâs awful how I keep talking and donât say what I want to say. Ah! The words come of themselves!â
âItâs very important for me to be in time to see my brother to-day,â Alyosha faltered.
âTo be sure, to be sure! You bring it all back to me. Listen, what is an aberration?â
âWhat aberration?â asked Alyosha, wondering.
âIn the legal sense. An aberration in which everything is pardonable. Whatever you do, you will be acquitted at once.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâll tell you. This Katya⊠Ah! She is a charming, charming creature, only I never can make out who it is she is in love with. She was with me some time ago and I couldnât get anything out of her. Especially as she wonât talk to me except on the surface now. She is always talking about my health and nothing else, and she takes up such a tone with me, too. I simply said to myself, âWell, so be it. I donât careâ⊠Oh, yes. I was talking of aberration. This doctor has come. You know a doctor has come? Of course, you know itâthe one who discovers madmen. You wrote for him. No, it wasnât you, but Katya. Itâs all Katyaâs doing. Well, you see, a man may be sitting perfectly sane and suddenly have an aberration. He may be conscious and know what he is doing and yet be in a state of aberration. And thereâs no doubt that Dmitri Fyodorovitch was suffering from aberration. They found out about aberration as soon as the law courts were reformed. Itâs all the good effect of the reformed law courts. The doctor has been here and questioned me about that evening, about the gold mines. âHow did he seem then?â he asked me. He must have been in a state of aberration. He came in shouting, âMoney, money, three thousand! Give me three thousand!â and then went away and immediately did the murder. âI donât want to murder him,â he said, and he suddenly went and murdered him. Thatâs why theyâll acquit him, because he struggled against it and yet he murdered him.â
âBut he didnât murder him,â Alyosha interrupted rather sharply. He felt more and more sick with anxiety and impatience.
âYes, I know it was that old man Grigory murdered him.â
âGrigory?â cried Alyosha.
âYes, yes; it was Grigory. He lay as Dmitri Fyodorovitch struck him down, and then got up, saw the door open, went in and killed Fyodor Pavlovitch.â
âBut why, why?â
âSuffering from aberration. When he recovered from the blow Dmitri Fyodorovitch gave him on the head, he was suffering from aberration; he went and committed the murder. As for his saying he didnât, he very likely doesnât remember. Only, you know, itâll be better, ever so much better, if Dmitri Fyodorovitch murdered him. And thatâs how it must have been, though I say it was Grigory. It certainly was Dmitri Fyodorovitch, and thatâs better, ever so much better! Oh! Not better that a son should have killed his father, I donât defend that. Children ought to honor their parents, and yet it would be better if it were he, as youâd have nothing to cry over then, for he did it when he was unconscious or rather when he was conscious, but did not know what he was doing. Let them acquit himâthatâs so humane, and would show what a blessing reformed law courts are. I knew nothing about it, but they say they have been so a long time. And when I heard it yesterday, I was so struck by it that I wanted to send for you at once. And if he is acquitted, make him come straight from the law courts to dinner with me, and Iâll have a party of friends, and weâll drink to the reformed law courts. I donât believe heâd be dangerous; besides, Iâll invite a great many friends, so that he could always be led out if he did anything. And then he might be made a justice of the peace or something in another town, for those who have been in trouble themselves make the best judges. And, besides, who isnât suffering from aberration nowadays? âyou, I, all of us are in a state of aberration, and there are ever so many examples of it: a man sits singing a song, suddenly something annoys him, he takes a pistol and shoots the first person he comes across, and no one blames him for it. I read that lately, and all the doctors confirm it. The doctors are always confirming; they confirm anything. Why, my Lise is in a state of aberration. She made me cry again yesterday, and the day before, too, and to-day I suddenly realized that itâs all due to aberration. Oh, Lise grieves me so! I believe sheâs quite mad. Why did she send for you? Did she send for you or did you come of yourself?â
âYes, she sent for me, and I am just going to her.â Alyosha got up resolutely.
âOh, my dear, dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, perhaps thatâs whatâs most important,â Madame Hohlakov cried, suddenly bursting into tears.
âGod knows I trust Lise to you with all my heart, and itâs no matter her sending for you on the sly, without telling her mother. But forgive me, I canât trust my daughter so easily to your brother Ivan Fyodorovitch, though I still consider him the most chivalrous young man. But only fancy, heâs been to see Lise and I knew nothing about it!â
âHow? What? When?â Alyosha was exceedingly surprised. He had not sat down again and listened standing.
âI will tell you; thatâs perhaps why I asked you to come, for I donât know now why I did ask you to come. Well, Ivan Fyodorovitch has been to see me twice, since he came back from Moscow. First time he came as a friend to call on me, and the second time Katya was here and he came because he heard she was here. I didnât, of course, expect him to come often, knowing what a lot he has to do as it is, _vous comprenez, cette affaire et la mort terrible de votre papa_. But I suddenly heard heâd been here again, not to see me but to see Lise. Thatâs six days ago now. He came, stayed five minutes, and went away. And I didnât hear of it till three days afterwards, from Glafira, so it was a great shock to me. I sent for Lise directly. She laughed. âHe thought you were asleep,â she said, âand came in to me to ask after your health.â Of course, thatâs how it happened. But Lise, Lise, mercy on us, how she distresses me! Would you believe it, one night, four days ago, just after you saw her last time, and had gone away, she suddenly had a fit, screaming, shrieking, hysterics! Why is it I never have hysterics? Then, next day another fit, and the same thing on the third, and yesterday too, and then yesterday that aberration. She suddenly screamed out, âI hate Ivan Fyodorovitch. I insist on your never letting him come to the house again.â I was struck dumb at these amazing words, and answered, âOn what grounds could I refuse to see such an excellent young man, a young man of such learning too, and so unfortunate?ââfor all this business is a misfortune, isnât it? She suddenly burst out laughing at my words, and so rudely, you know. Well, I was pleased; I thought I had amused her and the fits would pass off, especially as I wanted to refuse to see Ivan Fyodorovitch anyway on account of his strange visits without my knowledge, and meant to ask him for an explanation. But early this morning Lise waked up and flew into a passion with Yulia and, would you believe it, slapped her in the face. Thatâs monstrous; I am always polite to my servants. And an hour later she was hugging Yuliaâs feet and kissing them. She sent a message to me that she wasnât coming to me at all, and would never come and see me again, and when I dragged myself down to her, she rushed to kiss me, crying, and as she kissed me, she pushed me out of the room without saying a word, so I couldnât find out what was the matter. Now, dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, I rest all my hopes on you, and, of course, my whole life is in your hands. I simply beg you to go to Lise and find out everything from her, as you alone can, and come back and tell meâme, her mother, for you understand it will be the death of me, simply the death of me, if this goes on, or else I shall run away. I can stand no more. I have patience; but I may lose patience, and then⊠Then something awful will happen. Ah, dear me! At last, Pyotr Ilyitch!â cried Madame Hohlakov, beaming all over as she saw Perhotin enter the room. âYou are late, you are late! Well, sit down, speak, put us out of suspense. What does the counsel say. Where are you off to, Alexey Fyodorovitch?â
âTo Lise.â
âOh, yes. You wonât forget, you wonât forget what I asked you? Itâs a question of life and death!â
âOf course, I wonât forget, if I can⊠But I am so late,â
muttered Alyosha, beating a hasty retreat.
âNo, be sure, be sure to come in; donât say âIf you can.â I shall die if you donât,â Madame Hohlakov called after him, but Alyosha had already left the room.