Chapter 36.00: Chapter iv. — Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some readers, perhaps, may not relish it.

**
Chapter iv. — Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some
readers, perhaps, may not relish it.
**

Square had no sooner lighted his pipe, than, addressing himself to
Allworthy, he thus began: “Sir, I cannot help congratulating you on
your nephew; who, at an age when few lads have any ideas but of sensible
objects, is arrived at a capacity of distinguishing right from wrong. To
confine anything, seems to me against the law of nature, by which
everything hath a right to liberty. These were his words; and the
impression they have made on me is never to be eradicated. Can any man
have a higher notion of the rule of right, and the eternal fitness of
things? I cannot help promising myself, from such a dawn, that the
meridian of this youth will be equal to that of either the elder or the
younger Brutus.”

Here Thwackum hastily interrupted, and spilling some of his wine, and
swallowing the rest with great eagerness, answered, “From another
expression he made use of, I hope he will resemble much better men. The
law of nature is a jargon of words, which means nothing. I know not of any
such law, nor of any right which can be derived from it. To do as we would
be done by, is indeed a Christian motive, as the boy well expressed
himself; and I am glad to find my instructions have borne such good fruit.”

“If vanity was a thing fit,” says Square, “I might
indulge some on the same occasion; for whence only he can have learnt his
notions of right or wrong, I think is pretty apparent. If there be no law
of nature, there is no right nor wrong.”

“How!” says the parson, “do you then banish revelation?
Am I talking with a deist or an atheist?”

“Drink about,” says Western. “Pox of your laws of
nature! I don't know what you mean, either of you, by right and wrong. To
take away my girl's bird was wrong, in my opinion; and my neighbour
Allworthy may do as he pleases; but to encourage boys in such practices,
is to breed them up to the gallows.”

Allworthy answered, “That he was sorry for what his nephew had done,
but could not consent to punish him, as he acted rather from a generous
than unworthy motive.” He said, “If the boy had stolen the
bird, none would have been more ready to vote for a severe chastisement
than himself; but it was plain that was not his design:” and,
indeed, it was as apparent to him, that he could have no other view but
what he had himself avowed. (For as to that malicious purpose which Sophia
suspected, it never once entered into the head of Mr Allworthy.) He at
length concluded with again blaming the action as inconsiderate, and
which, he said, was pardonable only in a child.

Square had delivered his opinion so openly, that if he was now silent, he
must submit to have his judgment censured. He said, therefore, with some
warmth, “That Mr Allworthy had too much respect to the dirty
consideration of property. That in passing our judgments on great and
mighty actions, all private regards should be laid aside; for by adhering
to those narrow rules, the younger Brutus had been condemned of
ingratitude, and the elder of parricide.”

“And if they had been hanged too for those crimes,” cried
Thwackum, “they would have had no more than their deserts. A couple
of heathenish villains! Heaven be praised we have no Brutuses now-a-days!
I wish, Mr Square, you would desist from filling the minds of my pupils
with such antichristian stuff; for the consequence must be, while they are
under my care, its being well scourged out of them again. There is your
disciple Tom almost spoiled already. I overheard him the other day
disputing with Master Blifil that there was no merit in faith without
works. I know that is one of your tenets, and I suppose he had it from
you.”

“Don't accuse me of spoiling him,” says Square. “Who
taught him to laugh at whatever is virtuous and decent, and fit and right
in the nature of things? He is your own scholar, and I disclaim him. No,
no, Master Blifil is my boy. Young as he is, that lad's notions of moral
rectitude I defy you ever to eradicate.”

Thwackum put on a contemptuous sneer at this, and replied, “Ay, ay,
I will venture him with you. He is too well grounded for all your
philosophical cant to hurt. No, no, I have taken care to instil such
principles into him—”

“And I have instilled principles into him too,” cries Square.
“What but the sublime idea of virtue could inspire a human mind with
the generous thought of giving liberty? And I repeat to you again, if it
was a fit thing to be proud, I might claim the honour of having infused
that idea.”—

“And if pride was not forbidden,” said Thwackum, “I
might boast of having taught him that duty which he himself assigned as
his motive.”

“So between you both,” says the squire, “the young
gentleman hath been taught to rob my daughter of her bird. I find I must
take care of my partridge-mew. I shall have some virtuous religious man or
other set all my partridges at liberty.” Then slapping a gentleman
of the law, who was present, on the back, he cried out, “What say
you to this, Mr Counsellor? Is not this against law?”

The lawyer with great gravity delivered himself as follows:—

“If the case be put of a partridge, there can be no doubt but an
action would lie; for though this be _ferae naturae_, yet being
reclaimed, property vests: but being the case of a singing bird, though
reclaimed, as it is a thing of base nature, it must be considered as _nullius
in bonis_. In this case, therefore, I conceive the plaintiff must be
non-suited; and I should disadvise the bringing any such action.”

“Well,” says the squire, “if it be _nullus bonus_,
let us drink about, and talk a little of the state of the nation, or some
such discourse that we all understand; for I am sure I don't understand a
word of this. It may be learning and sense for aught I know: but you shall
never persuade me into it. Pox! You have neither of you mentioned a word
of that poor lad who deserves to be commended: to venture breaking his
neck to oblige my girl was a generous-spirited action: I have learning
enough to see that. D—n me, here‘s Tom’s health! I shall love the
boy for it the longest day I have to live.”

Thus was the debate interrupted; but it would probably have been soon
resumed, had not Mr Allworthy presently called for his coach, and carried
off the two combatants.

Such was the conclusion of this adventure of the bird, and of the dialogue
occasioned by it; which we could not help recounting to our reader, though
it happened some years before that stage or period of time at which our
history is now arrived.