I can still remember perfectly that day when I read my first novel… in fact, it’s a little strange that I remember it so clearly since I have forgotten nothing from that then, from the number of pages of the book to something as irrelevant as what I had for breakfast that morning…
Anyway, before I dared to do so, I found it exceedingly dull to read a story described entirely with letters and very few pictures, as I found it no different from reading a math or history book. Just imagining it made me dizzy. I’d sooner read a comic book or watch a movie, and even though I wasn’t a big fan of it before, at worst, I’d be okay with watching an anime or manga.
Anything was better than reading a book.
But like many other things in life, you can’t judge books by their cover; in this case, that was literal. It wasn’t until I tried them that I understood how good they were.
After reading the first book, it was like I had tried some addictive drug. Although I do not consider it wrong to read, I began to do it every day, without stopping, without differentiating between day and night, and without worrying about my health.
Going to school became even more torture being so sleepy every day, but eventually, I got used to it.
Being so obsessed with books, it was inevitable that he would try all kinds of genres as if they were wines. I read stories of horror, comedy, romance, suspense, action, and, well, some kinky ones, too. All of them were undoubtedly very interesting, but the ones that won my total devotion were the Isekai.
An incredible accumulation of stories that I have dreamed of experiencing since I was a child.
Of course, dreams are dreams and nothing more. Although I wanted to experience something like that, I did not think it was possible. After all, I was not so far away from reality.
Since that was an impossible dream, to make up for it, I became a die-hard fan of the worlds described in such stories. Countless novels passed through my very experienced eyes, both from famous sites and edited by professionals, as created by simple fans like me.
When I read the latter, I was motivated to create one of my own, but failed to do so. I didn’t know it would be so hard to put everything I had imagined in writing.
Although in my head, I could imagine hundreds or thousands of different scenarios, which I had no doubt would be interesting to read, and I also thought of dozens of other characters that would accompany the protagonist in his adventures, however, in practice, I could not write the details such as clothes, appearances, and buildings. I could not even think of realistic conversations between those characters…
Enough. It’s not worth reminiscing about my dark past.
In any case, even the sweetest delicacy can be cloying when eaten in excess.
With time, or more precisely, with the passing of the years, I gradually got tired of reading the same old stuff, but I could not stop, for I was still in love with those fantasies described. For that reason, for a long time, I kept trying to read them more and more, hoping one day to find a hidden jewel under the mud, and although I got them a few times, I stopped when the disgust overcame me.
I still loved the genre, but I was disgusted when out of a hundred novels I read, ninety of them were the same old story as if they were all created by the same photocopier.
I detested the stories where the main character got everything without any effort. But, when those had an intriguing world and charismatic characters, I could read them.
However, I couldn’t bear those novels where they narrate the adventures of an unreal and illogical character. One who is suddenly sent to another world, and after arriving there, a completely unknown place with dangers everywhere, the guy doesn’t care about it for a moment.
What kind of fucking logic is that?
I understand why the authors did it that way, as they probably wanted to create a protagonist who would face all problems calmly and coolly. Of course, I can understand it, but… it is strange to read about an ordinary wage earner assuming that his reincarnation or transmigration is quite normal as if it were something that everyone in his family has experienced, as commonplace as going to the corner store at night.
They don’t care, think, or even remember about their family, friends, or themselves…
Well, why am I remembering something like that right now?
I do it because, in a way, the fantasy I wanted so much but knew was impossible came true.
. . . . .
Kyle Johnson Williams is the name that was once mine, and remembering it was the gear I needed to get the mechanism of my mind working normally again.
Before that, witnessing my memories was like being in a movie theater or perhaps inside a virtual reality game. I could see, hear, and even feel, but I could not understand what it was like to live those moments.
A slight sense of disparity was always present.
I am not talking about the physical senses or the names of things or people I had forgotten. I am talking about what my heart was feeling at those times. Unlike the emotions such as despair or joy that I felt here, the situations I experienced in my previous life did not generate any feelings in me.
Anyway, now I knew I was formerly the human named Kyle Williams, an American born in Brooksville, FL, and… right, I also remember that, several years ago, when I was a kid, for…
Well… fuck it, I’ve ended up getting too depressed.
No, it’s not the time for self-criticism. I can do that when I get out of here.
‘I never thought that my lifelong dream would be fulfilled in this way, with me being reincarnated inside a woman’s uterus… I really didn’t believe that it would be fulfilled at all’
When I was a kid, my cousins and I dreamed of being born again in a family of spies or maybe plumbers, so we could fight villains and save princesses in trouble.
I must clarify that, due to the overprotection of my family, all I knew at that time were video games and television programs for all audiences, so my imagination was a little limited.
As I grew older, those dreams disappeared for a time before returning with much greater force. I was no longer content to be born into another family. Now, I wanted to travel to another world where I would not repeat the mistakes of that past one.
It was no longer enough to be able to fight against villains using weapons or kicks. I dreamed of being able to fly through the skies and, with a wave of my hand, create seas and mountains. Besides, one princess? No, I wanted dozens of them and for my legends to be sung on street corners or in bars by all the bards of the world.
I didn’t mature at all
… it doesn’t matter. After all, it was just a silly dream and nothing more.
While I hated stories that described that kind of scenario, but… hahaha! Living it is something completely different.
That’s why I can’t help but be excited about the future that awaits me in this life.
However, remembering the situation in which I find myself, it is as if a bucket of cold water was poured on my head, or rather, on my mind.
‘Wow… I’ve been living here for too long, like a ghost without a body, and if I use the hundreds of novels I’ve read as a reference, then maybe I was born next to the body I should have possessed’
I would prefer not to think that a mistake could have occurred in my reincarnation process, but I can’t help it, as it is strange that my consciousness appeared just outside the body of a fetus.
Actually, I don’t even know if I reincarnated or not.
If there is one good thing in all this is that my memories have become extremely clear. I can even remember the first meal I had at birth… in fact, I wish I could not.
‘… so embarrassing’
In any case, this superpower, if you can call it that, did not come without a single flaw. After all, although I can remember the tiniest details in countless events, there are gaps in my memory that I can’t fill no matter how hard I try.
It’s not that these are blurred or that I remember something about them but nothing concrete. No, they only completely disappeared from me as if they had never happened.
And I wouldn’t have noticed their absence if it weren’t for the fact that among those memories is my death or whatever it is that led me to this.
The last thing I remember, before everything happened, was that I was playing on my computer, as I usually did. There was no voice, light, or strange entity that appeared in front of me. Nothing unusual happened. However, after that moment, what remains in my memory is my life as a disembodied being.
That is why I cannot assume lightly what happened to me. Maybe I transmigrated, perhaps I reincarnated, or, if I get even crazier, may I have returned to the past or that the current me is just a copy to which they inserted by forcing the memories of the original… I don’t know. Everything is possible in a world where you don’t even need a physical body to be able to think…
‘Let’s stop thinking about that for now’
Knowing what happened will do nothing to change my current situation. After coming to that conclusion, I extended for a short time my spiritual sense, or so I decided to call it, before retracting it.
‘I knew it, nothing has changed’
Strange as it may seem, I was actually lucky to have been born this way, as going through the experience in which everything was new to me, in which I gradually assimilated things, helped me so that now I can calmly endure this new life.
This may be uncomfortable to accept, but it is undeniable that I am no longer the same Kyle as I was before. No matter how little time I spend living as an ignorant little one, those memories will not disappear so readily. They have already left a lasting mark on me.
That is why I have treated both lives as something different, one past and the other present, for to put them together would be to go against what I feel.
After all, I can’t forget the time in which the only thing I thought about was satisfying my curiosity and how I tried so hard to achieve it, nor will I forget how my emotions were awakened and took control of my life, besides I will always remember those moments in which I enjoyed to the fullest every detail of my past…
Although my personality as Kyle predominates, since the duration between the two lives is incomparable, it is none other than the will of the little being that allows me to endure this state.
Without that past, I would be in agony now with uncertainty and fear, longing for answers I may never get.
What happened to me?; Where am I?; Have I died?; How did I die?; Why me?; Will I be able to come back?; Will I be able to see my parents again?; What will happen to me?; Will I be able to get out of here?
I’m not saying I don’t have doubts or fear, but… I can handle it for now.
‘Whatever, I am also fortunate to have recovered my memories just as the baby is about to be born’
I have almost no knowledge about motherhood and that sort of thing. Yet, I sense that the fetus is about to be born. Hopefully, that could happen in a few weeks or, at most, a month from now.
So, what should I do in the meantime?
In fact, I don’t have much I can do here, so… well, I guess I’ll proceed to remember some interesting things.
True, I previously spent all my time reminiscing about my former life, so I have lost interest in some things, such as movies or anime, but, fortunately, I completely ignored novels. After all, I couldn’t read what they said.
So, if I use my almost perfect memory to remember the best stories I read, I will be able to enjoy them as if I were seeing them again, and in that way, I will pass the time while waiting for the day I leave this place.
Well… I did it, and it worked for a while, but… Wow, I didn’t expect to run into so many problems along the way.
The next two chapters, if you don’t want to see something mildly unpleasant, I recommend that you skip them.
I describe scenarios and characters in them that further detail the world I wish to create. However, I understand that the scenes I present may be too crude.
Anyway, even if you skip them, you can still understand the following chapters after those two.